The Naughty American Liveblog

The World's Most Beautiful Creature, And My New Favorite Shirt

As a journalist, it’s my duty to remain objective, impartial and unbiased, right? Right.

No — screw that.

When Leopard J. Ferry texted me tonight that Stoya was “in the house” at ELA and “looking awwwwwesome,” my heart skipped several beats and I lost all of my journalistic ethics — forget about the news, I’m creating the news because Stoya’s here. We all recall my first encounter with her at Panda Express at AVN, when her striking beauty kept me from holding the camera straight.

“Where?!” I responded to Leopard J. Ferry.

When there was no response from him after five minutes, I tried again, intensifying my grammar, and justly so.

“Where?!!!!!!!” 

Then came his “awwwwwesome” remark, leaving me to my own devices, that rat bastard. 

But the joke, eventually, was on him.

Although Stoya’s presence prompted me to throw all of my journalistic ethics to the wayside and chase her like a raving lunatic, I retained my news-hawk skills and worked my way to her seat at the FAME Awards.

And when I finally found her, my heart melted. Fact: When Stoya is present, there’s no such thing as being “objective.” 

And, to boot, when I approached her and said, “Stoya?,” she responded.

“Oh,” she said, “I remember you.”

We reminisced about Panda Express at AVN, had a few laughs, and (I) re-discovered love.

And then I took it a step further, and I didn’t care that I was wearing the same shirt as I was in the AVN photo — it’s my favorite shirt, now.

Leopard J. Ferry, as much as I want this to be for you, it’s really for me: